Being in the final year of my Religious Studies degree I can safely say I've been asked millions of times why I'm doing my course, given that 'you're an atheist', 'religion is pointless', and 'surely endless recitations of the Hail Mary get boring'.
All these ASSUMPTIONS are wrong!!
I do believe in God, totally! Maybe not in the same way I did when I came to uni as a Catholic, but I do. I wouldn't say I'm a Catholic anymore, or a Christian, its hard to explain. I think God exists but I don't know whether that's the God of Sikhism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam or any of the others. Really, I think there's one God over all of them if I really had to decide. Why should there be one rigid conception of God to adhere to? But it really annoys me when religious people look at me with the 'oh what a shame' attitude, or pity me for 'losing my faith' because I haven't!! I'll never forget when someone asked if was going to Mass and when I said I couldn't because I had a meeting they replied 'Oh, well I think it would do you some good...'
Just because I don't practice any particular faith does not make me a bad person.
In fact, I have met many religious people who are homophobic, racist, ignorant, two faced, and cliqued up to the max. This is not true of all religious people of course that has to made clear. The majority of religious people are lovely lovely people, I have many close friends who are religious and are truly fantastic, well rounded individuals, I'm not tarring all religious people with the same brush. Many family members of mine are also religious too, and it really enriches their lives and keeps them active in their communities and is a great part of their lives. Its just a colossal shame that some people tarnish that.
Essentially, if anything is stopping me going back to Church, it is this aforementioned attitude of self righteousness and general rudeness I have encountered the last few years. Don't pity me because I'm 'now an atheist' (apparently), because its the first I've heard of it. If I went back, I would hate the 'oooh look who's here' thing, followed by immediate bombardments asking when I had my epiphany and how much better I feel now I've started going again. I'm very disillusioned by it all.
So, moving on, religion is of course, not pointless.
As mentioned above, it can glue communities together, and also provide a sense of meaning in life for many people. A lack of understanding for other traditions can prove divisive, and breeds ignorance. It is a dynamic part of human life, cultural and individual expression, and brings fundamental questions of selfhood, the afterlife, ethics, morality and more to the surface, among others. Does my degree sound more interesting than yours yet?
I have not once had to pray in any lecture ever. It's not a requirement, and the day it was would be the day I left because it isn't right to impose one faith upon an another person, unless they come to it willingly. I have completed modules such as 'World Religions' (pretty self explanatory), 'Bio/Sexual Ethics' 'Philosophies of the Self', 'God in a Digital Age', 'Peace & Peacemaking' and many others. I love the diversity of my course, and the fact that it isn't restricted to one area of religion, because I'm paying through the nose for the course, so, value for money right?? Seriously though, I do love my course, while hating it at the same time for the workload!
So, in conclusion (why do I feel like I'm writing an essay?)
No, I'm not going to be a nun.
Yes, I do believe in God.
No, I don't pray every day, and don't pity me for that.
I'm not a sex obsessed heathen, who has murdered people, hurts people, judge them or anything. I'm actually rather nice given the chance, and maybe one day I will start going back to Church but when I'm ready, and not because 'it will do me some good'.
Amen to that!
ReplyDeleteI too am left with a somewhat vague yet more logically satisfying conception of God having had much time to reflect on previous notions I have had of the Divine Creator. My ideas about the transcendant may be different to yours, nonetheless I understand your predicament as when you leave a religious group you become a lone warrior of a subjective faith people will never understand, precisely because it is so individual. The next conclusion is that you haven't just left a religious community but you have abondoned faith and moral, how false! I think I am more faithful now than I was before for now I know better what is expected of me and precisely what it means to develop a morality befitting a servant of God.
I prefer to look at my leaving preconceived notions of God as me coming to know God myself, not listening to someone else tell me how I should know Him. I do not assume the truth, nor construct it for myself. I find truth about God as only I can because my relationship with Him (and truth) is a personal one and cannot be defined by others (perhaps even by myself).
I'm actually overwhelmed that someone else has come to a similar conclusion that to limit God to a religious conception of him is to limit God!