Glass half full!!

I keep noticing how pessimistic some people can actually be. Of course, we all have our off days and it has its place. We all need to let off some steam sometimes, wallow in self pity or just feel generally miserable. There are those who get depressed, which of course is an ongoing struggle for people. I’m not saying I don’t do it, as I’ve certainly done lots of it in some of my posts!

 But others, I think actually love whinging. All the time.

There are people out there who like to feel miserable. They perpetuate their misery by engaging in discussions and activities that further their miserableness, and tell others relentlessly about how bad their lives are, how awful their situation has become, and how wrong society is, how unjustly they have been treated, how horrific their past experiences have been, how ill fated their lives will continue to be, bla bla bla. Constantly, every day, for their whole life.

Seriously? What kind of life is this?

 The saddest part of it is that their cynicism and negativity of everything will be the worst thing that happens to them, not their actual bad experiences.

Everyone goes through this stuff! Everybody. It's called life. I think most people will have generally the same life experiences, just in a different order to others. Whinging about insignificant details like, ‘ohhh there’s a disproportionate amount of milk to froth on my latte L’, or ‘day 3 of my cold, guess I’d better take another day off work I'm so desperately ill' quite irritate me.

Death in the family? Heartbreak? Illness (and not just a slight sniffle)? By all means, these are normal things to get sad about. But whinging about everything is just unnecessary, tiresome, and drags us all down with you. Its not just about that odd whine on Facebook, or whatever, I mean in real life. Someone I know (and before anyone reads anything into this is not anyone on Facebook, or even of our generation at all - to those who thought otherwise I'm actually talking about one of my grandparents) has been a genuine misery guts for their whole life, and its resulted in me and those around this person dreading seeing them, because they whinge and moan and turn the whole occasion into a chore. The whole of my contact with this person has been negative, and they push away everyone who tries to help them with rudeness and complaints. I feel bad for even thinking this way but at the same time its selfish and its become ingrained within me to never get to this point regardless of what life throws at me. It is a really really massive shame, because its become such a habit I don’t think they even realise it anymore. I love them, but I don’t like them and there’s a huge distinction there.

Perspective is key, because if you look around, there will always be someone around you who’s going through a worse time. Always. Its not hard to find someone else who’s REALLY suffering for some reason, and maybe if more people channelled their energy into helping these people through their bad times then they might feel more positive about their own lives.

My general rule is, yes, be sad sometimes, its ok and certainly isn’t a crime. But at least attempt at some positivity and you never know, it might change your life for the better.

Glass half full, yeah?

Its March soon, the lambs and chickens will be born, the blossom will come out and we can all have picnics and beverages OUTSIDE again! What better excuse?

So, what's the point in your course then...?

Being in the final year of my Religious Studies degree I can safely say I've been asked millions of times why I'm doing my course, given that 'you're an atheist', 'religion is pointless', and 'surely endless recitations of the Hail Mary get boring'.

All these ASSUMPTIONS are wrong!!


I do believe in God, totally! Maybe not in the same way I did when I came to uni as a Catholic, but I do. I wouldn't say I'm a Catholic anymore, or a Christian, its hard to explain. I think God exists but I don't know whether that's the God of Sikhism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam or any of the others. Really, I think there's one God over all of them if I really had to decide. Why should there be one rigid conception of God to adhere to? But it really annoys me when religious people look at me with  the 'oh what a shame' attitude, or pity me for 'losing my faith' because I haven't!! I'll never forget when someone asked if  was going to Mass and when I said I couldn't because I had a meeting they replied 'Oh, well I think it would do you some good...'

Just because I don't practice any particular faith does not make me a bad person.


In fact, I have met many religious people who are homophobic, racist, ignorant, two faced, and cliqued up to the max. This is not true of all religious people of course that has to made clear. The majority of religious people are lovely lovely people, I have many close friends who are religious and are truly fantastic, well rounded individuals, I'm not tarring all religious people with the same brush. Many family members of mine are also religious too, and it really enriches their lives and keeps them active in their communities and is a great part of their lives. Its just a colossal shame that some people tarnish that.

Essentially, if anything is stopping me going back to Church, it is this aforementioned attitude of self righteousness and general rudeness I have encountered the last few years. Don't pity me because I'm 'now an atheist' (apparently), because its the first I've heard of it. If I went back, I would hate the 'oooh look who's here' thing, followed by immediate bombardments asking when I had my epiphany and how much better I feel now I've started going again. I'm very disillusioned by it all.

So, moving on, religion is of course, not pointless.
As mentioned above, it can glue communities together, and also provide a sense of meaning in life for many people. A lack of understanding for other traditions can prove divisive, and breeds ignorance. It is a dynamic part of human life, cultural and individual expression, and brings fundamental questions of selfhood, the afterlife, ethics, morality and more to the surface, among others. Does my degree sound more interesting than yours yet?

I have not once had to pray in any lecture ever. It's not a requirement, and the day it was would be the day I left because it isn't right to impose one faith upon an another person, unless they come to it willingly. I have completed modules such as 'World Religions' (pretty self explanatory), 'Bio/Sexual Ethics' 'Philosophies of the Self', 'God in a Digital Age', 'Peace & Peacemaking' and many others. I love the diversity of my course, and the fact that it isn't restricted to one area of religion, because I'm paying through the nose for the course, so, value for money right?? Seriously though, I do love my course, while hating it at the same time for the workload!

So, in conclusion (why do I feel like I'm writing an essay?)
No, I'm not going to be a nun.
Yes, I do believe in God.
No, I don't pray every day, and don't pity me for that. 


I'm not a sex obsessed heathen, who has murdered people, hurts people, judge them or anything. I'm actually rather nice given the chance, and maybe one day I will start going back to Church but when I'm ready, and not because 'it will do me some good'.

Girls, bitchiness, and the benefits of the lack of it

Its one of my best friend's 21sts today and we're having a girls' night at hers.
It sort of led me to think about how girls are round each other, and having been to an all girl's Catholic school for 7 years, lived with only women (apart from Dad) until uni, and had only female cousins most of my life I know many different ways they interact!

I'm so glad I don't know many bitchy girls because I truly can't stand it. I hate backstabbing and two facedness so so much, I saw a fair share of it at school, though not as much as you may expect from 1000 girls in close confinement for 7 years. Even so, the minority could really put people down.

I don't know when it happens, but it seems that girls just get over it. Most do anyway. The ones that are left tend to end up boyfriend stealers, desperate, or just with no friends, or in a group of friends where everyone hates them anyway, or a combination of all the above! And usually orange, with dead spiders, oops my bad I mean false lashes (!) above their eyes, though not always.

The point I'm basically making is that all my friends are bloody fantastic which I've re-realised recently - again! They're about when you need them, and not just to get wasted (that too) but properly to talk and stuff. I hope they could say the same about me! Having spent so much time in male company in the last 3 years in comparison to the previous 18 years, I'd sort of forgotten how amazing we can all be for each other. Of course, I have great friends from school days, but we have truly grown up together at uni. Its such a formative time in our lives and we've all changed from late stage adolescents into women in our twenties. I'll never forget this time in my life, its been the best time in my life, there's been more than a testing time or two, but from Academy Wednesdays, drinks in Headingley, about 170000 Sicily's orders with my phone voice on, the best and worst lectures ever, break ups, make ups, and new men (and women) for us all round, bill dramas, piecing together what actually happened the night before, water fights, debates over holiday bookings, housing contracts and far far more it really has been the time I properly grew up, although I like to think there's a bit of me that won't leave Neverland.

So yeah basically, whatever friend group I'm on about, I love them all, especially the girls! God I sound like a Spice Girl's fan with all the girl power going on! And I hope Tanya has a swish night this eve - best go, the straighteners and war paint beckon! Adieu :)

Tattoo broodiness, and my day, sort of...

Soooo tired today, only had about 1 and a half hours sleep last night being up doing loads of work, and had an hour's Skyping with my sister who I miss millions! We were discussing tattoo ideas as I've decided I'd like another one. My current favourite ideas are 3 small silhouetted swallows on the ankle and before you say 'oh yeah bit of a cliche' its really symbolic to me. Each swallow represents an immediate family member that has supported me through all the bad stuff from me being younger, and its a reminder to just let go of my fears and worries and embrace my future because I'm sort of teetering on the edge of it and I need to just jump off the big scary diving board into the next part of my life. Obviously things are a bit up in the air at the moment, and clearly I'm not writing an intellectual blog, I do wear my heart on my sleeve and that's why I'm literally spewing my thoughts into a laptop, but I really feel that whilst it will be small and pretty, its a life lesson I need to learn. Just do life. Do it! Stop worrying, because nothing's guaranteed, and while I'm probably not going to end up a marine biologist with 5 seal children, I have a rough guide to where my life's going which is more than some. Me and the sister were also discussing getting matching tattoos because coincidentally she's been wanting the same thing. I'll probably get mine anyway, but whilst it might be a bit cheesy I think it'd be nice to have a little ink link to my sister from the same mister.

I already have one tattoo of the word 'Agape' on my wrist. This is a Greek word although I have the Latin spelling, with a small heart just above the end of the word, to symbolise me wearing my heart on my sleeve. Agape is one of four types of Greek love, and has loosely Christian connotations. It is the unconditional love such as God has for humanity, and I love the meaning behind it. Having been brought up Catholic it reflects my heritage but without being overtly religious. I do believe in God though I don't practice any particular faith, but its a lovely message to live your life by.

I love staying up all night because I love the quiet and stillness of it, and I love watching the hours go by. The only problem though is functioning the next day, which was achieved by sheer will power, oh, and a cheeky can of Relentless. Careful make up application on days like this are crucial, because essentially, make up creates features on my face, never mind enhancing them. I look like a boiled egg with eyes drawn on without my make up on. It hides the red rimmed eyes created by Descartes' Meditations, although Buddhism was an equal offender last night.

Anyway, I caught up with a really good friend today which was decidedly glorious seeing as I haven't seen her in so long. We had a long chat about everything and it was actually the highlight of my day, I love little things like that. I love that girl! I can go without seeing her in ages but its always so easy to catch up :) I'm now back home in bed waiting to catch up on sleep, ahhh glorious! :D

Singledom = :) ???

Ok, so I’ve been newly single for about a month. I lost my boyfriend and best friend. Tragically awful right? Oh the drama. The first week or so was v hard, and I still miss his company sometimes, but far from withering away into a shell of despair, I’ve actually realised loads about myself and its been rather good for me! Of course, me and the ex had a great time together back when things were good, but sometimes these things just don’t work out, so we more or less mutually went our separate ways after a long drawn out break up.

Having done most of the ‘grieving’ or whatever over the month before we broke up, when it actually happened I felt initially relieved. It feels strange not to be more upset now, I mean yes I've cried and felt crappy but now I feel kind of good that I have this freedom right at my fingertips and that I can do anything I want, but stalled because I sort of can’t what with having a degree to complete in the next few months. I have hardly any time, but have come to appreciate my friends so much more. I’ve learnt not to let things get me down, and reaffirmed that I’m an independent woman (cue Beyonce and the cheese factor or whatever) and that I can be single and ok about it. I don’t actually NEED anyone. I’m not too fussed about finding someone else, but have had experiences with new people, and I’ve learnt...things.. about myself through them lets put it that way! I’m not desperate for a rebound shag or relationship though, its not my priority.

I do fancy people, but I’m not really interested in taking things further just because I’m enjoying my singledom. I’ve been out loads with the housemates and got very drunk, and just had a good time! I've had the best night of my life just this last week, it was HILARIOUS! I of course have reflected on the whole thing which I can’t deny has been challenging, but after seeing him again in person which was tremendously awkward at first, I sort of feel that its helped me to move on, and confirmed to me that I’m not gonna chase around after a dead horse ‘just in case’. Its become apparent he's got other priorities in life and I don't want to be a fall back I'd like to be chased dammit! Not by him of course, just generally I suppose. I’m always the chaser, and its not been too successful. I've heard through the grapevine that when he's going out a lot and while I do of course care and hope he's generally ok its not an attractive thing to me at the moment, but it sounds like he's enjoying himself.

I’m planning to make the most of being single. Relationships come with good and bad sides, and there’s too much water under the bridge to pathetically run around after my ex. I wouldn't anyway, I miss him in my life, but not in that ‘my life is over’ kind of way. I played a part in the end of us, we both did really, I can't say its all his fault because it isn't. One step closer to finding Prince Charming I guess! There was a time when I really thought he might be THE guy, but we're so young its just an unrealistic thing to come to fruition for most couples my age.Things like that should always be an IF and never a WHEN.

Basically, I know I'll love and be loved again by someone new. I've always known that. I am moving on, but if he needed me in a difficult time, I'd be there. Not as a booty call, never, I don't roll that way, but because I said once that if he needed me then I would support him through anything, and I meant it. I miss his amazing family too, relationships are about way more than just two people and I loved them to bits I felt so welcomed.

But for now, when I'm good and ready and the next guy does come along, he can wine and dine me and the whole sherbang! But just now I'm pretty good flying solo, without any guy at all. :) I just love rediscovering my freedom, and being allowed a cheeky snog from a different guy every Saturday on an escape from my dissertation! Why not eh?