Being in your twenties is all about realising that how it looked when you were a teenager is in fact nothing like the reality. In your teenage mind, you WILL be a goddess of all things, constantly stunning, (even in the morning) you will be amazing at your job and as a result very rich, and sickeningly happy, because there will be so many people dying to go out with you, and of course you will have met THE ONE (if there is such a thing). Your hair would always be perfect (because you can obviously afford a haircut, yes?) and your skin would be positively glowing. Your chest would also be spot free, above the magnificent boobs that would have sprung into being by your twenties. You would sleep like Snow White, serene, elegant and dignified. There would be no hangovers, and being drunk would never go wrong, because you could only be effortlessly cool, because all of the being uncool would be over by the age of 18. Obviously. Mistakes would also be a thing of the past.
Haha ha ha HA. In actual fact my life is very little like that, so I thought I'd write a post about it, because it's what I fall back on when time is on my hands!
My reality is that I am not a goddess of all things unless that is being a bit weird, and increasingly like Bridget Jones. I am not constantly stunning, but I am quite good at make up :) I usually wake up looking like a deranged panda. A bit like Tim Minchin combined with the hair.
My job is nothing short of challenging at best, but is getting better slowly but surely, and it's been the hardest year of my life, but something I'm very proud of doing.
I'm not rich, but the richest I've ever been, and I'm not sickeningly happy and the crowds aren't clamouring at my feet for a date.
My hair is far from perfect especially in the morning, when a few birds raising their young in there wouldn't look out of place, and I still cut and colour it myself, sometimes, GREAT SUCCESS, others...moving on.
My skin is also a bit poo, but again going back to the make up thing, thank God I have the gift to gloss over Pompeii with limited success. Chest is ok, although my boobs are not magnificent, I can run downstairs without a bra. A minor victory.
I sleep with my knees bent and the duvet over my head, and I'm aware this is bizarre. Neither elegant, nor serene. I am also frequently uncool, as I'm reminded by my students several times a week, and also not so cool when I'm drunk either. And I do get hangovers, and wake up with morning breath that is reminiscent of a mcdonalds that I have no recollection of desiring, purchasing or consuming. With tinnitus worse than yesterday. RINGGGGGGG.
Getting out of bed is also still a royal pain in the arse.
Additionally:
Not getting ID'd being a bad thing
People saying 'oh..you've graduated' then backing slowly away.
Moving back in with your parents
Being the least experienced of all your colleagues ('oh, you'll look back on this and see how far you've come'--Christ, am I that bad?!)
And finally, this little gem..
'When are you going to find a nice young man and settle down?'
Shoot. Me. Now.
All of this is a bit tongue in cheek as you may have gathered. I just have to laugh at my 15 year old assumptions. There are many things I love about my twenties too, in many ways it has been awesome, but the stupid stuff is far more interesting don't you think?
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