Dawning Realisation

The moment you realise that the yogurt you just bought goes out of date a whole week after your dissertation is due is the moment it dawns on you that you’ve fucked up a bit :/

Spent a whole day in the library yesterday which was so what I needed! Got almost a whole section done which I’ve finished this afternoon and I’m carrying on well into this eve.

Basically, I think I’ve done uni backwards! I’ve been on more nights out this semester than I did in the whole of second year. I think I discovered my youth just as I have to get serious about an actual long-term career goal, and while its settling in that that will actually happen, it’s a bit of a shame that I didn’t do all this back in the day! Of course, there were other things going on which was amazing and I don’t regret them one bit but I waited till uni before going out at all which was such a waste!

VERSUS

Serious me is winning this week I'm getting loads done, its just evermore tempting to go out when you know you can't!!

Emily (my mutual wing man - though perhaps not for much longer...) and I were trying to put together a list of all the places we’ve been in Leeds over the last three years, and for three whole years it’s a little poor to be honest!! Here’s my list that makes me sound like an indie whore (which I'm sometimes not!):

• O2 Academy – standard for all Trinity people. Prefer Propaganda to Vodka Nationwide.
• Wire – Pure undiluted LUST for this place J [read: fit indie boys] but seriously I love it!
• Revolution – all of them are ok…
• Cockpit - went on an indie night - but was massively overrated and nearly empty!
• Fire – go for cheap shots, and then LEAVE
• Queen’s Court - good craic!
• OK Karaoke - yeyah! lotsa of fun, both in booths and in main room, need to be a bit pissed though!
• Fibre
• Walkabout
• Tiger Tiger - not again.
• Carpe Diem – quite like this place, espesh on Open mic night
• Fab Café – yes yes YEHEHES! Geek central and they do an indie night on Saturdays – result!
• Mission
• Oceana – DIRE
• Evo – possible worse than dire. Bit rapey!
• Halo

Then of course pubs:

• The Arc
• Headingley Taps
• Old Ball
• Trios
• The Box
• Woodies
• Skyrack
• Original Oak
• The Hyde Park
• The Library
• Dry Docks

Well I’ll soon be saying farewell to my student life – guess you don’t miss the water till the well runs dry! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to academically bitchslap my dissertation in the face.

Check out Catfish!

No, I don't mean the actual fish m'hearties!

I'm on about a band who I was introduced to by one of its members, lets call him 'grandmasta X' for shits and giggles, when he was giving out CDs on a night out in Leeds outside Milo about 8 months ago now! I wasn't actually going there, but promised him I'd listen to their stuff anyway and its still on my ancient iPod classic circa 2007.

His band are called CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN and you should totally go and check them out. This guy was dead good craic as I'm sure the rest of them are and its always nice to see someone passionate about what they do, so instead of chucking the CD away like I might have done on a usual night out when being handed stuff I gave them a listen.

They're unsigned as far as I know, but deserve to be signed in my opinion! They're sorta indie/rock and roll  and really catchy and you can find lots of their stuff on Youtube so give it a swirly whirl!

They've just got a new single out called Brokenarmy released April 23rd and here's the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-GM6z2EqPA watch itttttt!

They're catchy as hell and will be a welcome addition to your iTunes just check them out and spread the love :) Your ears will be chuffed to bits.

More Facebook Issues

Aah Facebook.
Facey B.

I'm sorry to have to tell you this but I think we're going to have to go on a break if you don't buck up your ideas. I'm spending far too much time with you its such a distraction. I mean you're very attractive to me and I just can't stop myself coming back for more. While I have a dissertation to do, it may be for the best...

You allow us to needlessly 'facestalk' someone's cousin's husband's hot younger brother of a friend from primary school, for example, while simultaneously allowing others to stalk me. Of course Facebook friends aren't real friends either, there may be some people you have as 'friends' that blatantly ignore you in real life or do that 'oh I've got her on Facebook but don't really know her so I'll just become intensely interested in my fingernail until she goes past' thing.

Facebook allows people to stay in touch with people without actually seeing them. I went for drinks with friends from school a few weeks ago and one guy Luke told me we'd not actually seen each other since 2009 when I thought it was only a few months! I was so shocked but I thought I'd seen him because I'd read all about it already!

Facebook 'expects' us to be perfect too. I mean there's no dislike button for example, nothing should be disliked, and there's always a really awkward moment when someone becomes single, or airs dirty laundry or puts a sad face as a status. Of course I agree that certain things should stay private but it encourages us to display ourselves as stress free, life-loving, amazingly beautiful people who go out all the time and take lots of pictures etc etc etc. Nobody is like this all the time!

I also hate Farmville requests, notifications that someone has passed levels 32,33,AND 34 of Bra Strap Pinger 3000 or some other crap game within a half hour time period, invites to events in somewhere like Bristol from the 'friends' who ignore me in real life (see above - yes I will TOTALLY come to Bristol with 3000 strangers to some random club that has shit music),   a news-feed clogged up that looks like this:
- 7.55am OMG. Just woke up
- 8.03am Cornflake time!
-8.20am Lost my favourite hair bobble FML
-8.47am Bus fare gone up by 3p WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???

F*** off! Aaaaand unsubscribe. At least that's one redeeming quality.

Facebook has become like a comfortable relationship. Really annoying sometimes but you know you still want it in your life despite all the bad habits it makes you aware of over time. Timeline was akin to a questionable haircut for example but you just get used to it in the end I suppose.

Hmm will I give it up? I'll see...

Rants from a Waitress

So, I’m a waitress and have been for about 5 years. Over this time I’ve noticed certain things about my job and how waitressing is seen in this country and by customers I’ve come into contact with.

The first thing is that waitressing isn’t generally seen as a career, it seems to be a stop gap for many people – something to get some money through college or uni, or before something better comes along. Customers always seem to ask if I’m ‘just a Saturday girl’, or where and what I do at uni etc. For many of us, a stop gap is exactly what it is, myself included. That doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit though. I do care that I do it right.

I mean, so many people have an attitude that just because you aren’t fulfilling your ultimate career goals in the here and now, that it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing wrong with living for the weekend, or wanting to do something else with your life, but what I really hate is the assumption that many people have about waiters and waitresses:

• You are stupid
• You don't care

The first one, this infuriates me so much! When the 49 Diner tables are full, there may be as many as 200 people seated at any one time. Given that there are usually only 5 people in charge of the 4 sections, theoretically, each of these 5 people is responsible for about 40 people. Of course, managers and other staff from the bar or runners can chip in but the point I’m trying to make is that there is a lot to juggle and a great deal to remember (when 12 people on a table all order different things, change their minds and juggle things around and then get mad when you can’t remember what Victor was having when setting their cutlery). If you didn’t serve Victor’s table and come over with the food, lets say it’s a pizza, and you say ‘Pizza?’ and Victor says, ‘oh yeah that’s for Marjorie’ then goes back talking to Kenneth, how the fuck do I know who Marjorie is??? I was not briefed with their passport photos before they all came in, nor am I psychic, I mean they thought I was stupid a moment ago! And anyone can do a job but when you’re carrying 5 plates with hypermobility in your fingers (v painful!!), with a cheque to put on, someone has a disproportionate amount of froth to milk on their cappuccino, another person would like some mayonnaise, and then someone from a section you aren’t responsible for comes up and says how rude you are for not taking their order when you have your own section with 3 orders still to take it can be difficult to smile and apologise for ‘your’ mistake all whilst wearing a tshirt that looks a dog with a sagging breast problem.

I’m not saying that the customer is always wrong to pester a waitress, I mean they certainly deserve a certain level of customer service and I’m happy to do my job and do it well, but sometimes there can be customers that are just plain rude.

A situation like that requires emotional intelligence to be able to turn disgruntled people into happy people, and make them like you, so that they might speak to you a bit more nicely the next time you pop over to ask them if everything is ok. Unless you treat them like this.....

or this is the person that made their salad, then chances are that they'll be happy anyway!

You also need to be able to prioritise things and foresee potential problems that could arise and even if you can see shortcuts through things, you have to do things the way your manager wants to stop a bollocking from taking place.

Basically, to be an effective waiter/waitress you have to become the customer’s bitch. If they’re ridiculously rude I actually find it more effective to profusely apologise with a massive smile on my face and deal with the problem ASAP rather than be rude back even a tiny little bit. That way, they’re more likely to feel bad and also like you for being so nice and lay off a bit which is exactly what you need on a busy day. Basically by acting like a pushover you get what you want, so technically you win every time!

I don’t really want to have to be someone’s bitch over a lasagne or bottle of ketchup, clean spat out banana out of the crevices of a highchair, or move hundreds of bottles in and out of fridges all day, be click-summoned by extremely rude rich men (like I’m some sort of slave woman!), or smile at a child’s mother as I clean their cherub's vomit off the floor, but I do work hard in my job and it annoys me that many people assume waitresses are lazy and stupid and are destined to be lazy and stupid forever given that they ‘are just waitresses’.

I think everyone should be a waitress/waiter before they move on to their desired career. It really teaches you a lot about respect and courtesy for other people, and I’m always nice to them when I go to other places. And always leave a tip!

21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years

1. You can't be good at everything
2.    First impressions aren’t always correct
3.   Being a ‘grown up’ doesn’t have to be boring
4. Always treat everyone you meet with unconditional respect
5.  Allow yourself time to feel happiness, sadness and everything in between
6. Sometimes you can’t fix it and you have to let go
7. Stop asking ‘what if’ and focus on ‘what is’
8. You’ll never stop needing your family, perhaps just in new capacities
9. Losing touch with an old friend doesn’t mean you or the other person did anything wrong
10. Never forget the times you made yourself proud
11. Time really does make all things better
12.  When you feel motivated just power through because most of the rest of the time you won’t be!
13. Step out of your comfort zone. It may be the best thing for you!
14. Everyone else is just another person, who has the same doubts, fears and concerns that you do. Never let anyone treat you as though they are above you and don’t fear anyone on the basis that you “aren’t as good”
15.  People deserve second chances, very few deserve a third
16.  Intelligence will not take you as far as kindness and humility does
17. Always look forward
18. To get from A to B, you might have to visit C, D and E first
19. If you get your heart broken you will get over it, and find happiness with someone new
20. Life is precious - don't waste it
21.  Acknowledging you were wrong can put things right

Some of these are easy lessons and some are hard ones, but I think most people can relate to this list in some way, shape or form!

Easter, posters, bee stings and hair issues.

I hope everyone had a great Easter, and that the Christians among you enjoyed your Risen Lord, whilst the rest of us enjoyed our chocolate!

As I’m writing I have a month to basically write my dissertation and so I’ll be off to uni to do some serious serious work tomorrow with Debbie and Emily. What the EFF happened to the bloody time!!! Despite the fact it is now 4.20am I will now have to go to bed no later than 1am and get up no later than 9am for the next month. That’s the plan anyway. My body clock is absolutely appalling.

I’ve freshened up my room since loans came in with owls, telephone boxes and Florence posters. Not actual owls and phone boxes, I mean to say there are 3 separate posters! 

I have also been eating a shedload of food in an attempt to encourage my bee stings to grow back into boobs which is slowly working bit by bit. My weight fluctuates a lot anyway but I feel better when I'm a stone heavier! (Even if I am enjoying a smaller bum and legs!) It has been nice to buy some new clothes that fit better in the meantime though. 

Oh and I'm also going through another 'what shall I do with my hair' dilemma. I can just see Emily rolling her eyes now! I might just go and buy some decent extensions and go longer because I'm sick of waiting for it to grow, 3 years is dedication!

Maybe I should get on with wolfing down my Easter Eggs instead of making myself sound more insecure than I actually am with my weight issues, hair dilemmas and clothes buying? NOMNOMNOM

Yes I ate lamb yesterday, and mmmm it was G-O-O-D!

And I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter.

Confidence Rollercoaster

Confidence is something we’d all love to have and is often listed in desired qualities for a partner, employee, or friend. However, it can be more complicated than it may at first seem.

We can have confidence in different things including ourselves, the outcome of a situation, or in expectations of other people.

We all go through periods of doubt in our abilities, but that does not mean we aren’t confident people in normal circumstances. Perhaps leading up to an exam we may feel overwhelmed, or before a date we might worry if they’ll like us. These are unusual circumstances compared to the other everyday stuff we engage with, and questioning our confidence isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can be very healthy.

However there are also people who may come across as overconfident or arrogant in their abilities, so there is clearly a huge spectrum  of what ‘confident’ encompasses, and given that underconfidence and overconfidence are generally speaking not ideal, it may appear that a happy medium is the most desirable.

Of course, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who entirely encompassed either one of the two extremes. Most of us are loosely speaking just chilling out in the middle. At times when we sway too far one way or the other, we can usually count on those we are close to give us a kick up the bum. 

At times when I see my friends or family losing their self confidence my heart absolutely goes out to them because I know to some extent how they must be feeling and usually I'll know how to boost their confidence. I think its a natural thing to just want to help them. However, when those we feel close to may appear to be overconfident, there are times when this can be a front and they may be hiding their true feelings. At times like this it can be hard to do the right thing in helping them because by telling them they’re overconfident you might knock the confidence of someone whose level of confidence wasn’t actually that high in the first place. All you can do is be there for that person or those people and help each other keep on the straight and narrow. Usually one of you will stop crying long enough to get the other one through their challenges and vice versa. What a rollercoaster!